Jane and the Opera Dancer (Jane, Bow Street Consultant Book 3)
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Hemogloben Margaret Dumont and her lovely daughter Ouliotta Delight Hemogloben Susan Miller , to avoid marriage, and his remark as he looked down: "Don't start worrying until we get down to one-thousand, nine-hundred, and ninety-nine. It's the last foot that's dangerous" the final ten minutes - the Great Man's mad drive through downtown LA to take an oversized woman he presumed she was pregnant to the maternity hospital borrowed for Abbott and Costello's In Society , with a police escort from cops on motorcycles, sirens blaring; after many near-misses and collisions, his car's roof was tangled up with the hook and ladder of a fire-engine, and his car was hoisted high into the air and then dumped back onto the highway; he narrowly missed pedestrians and other cars in the frantic ride to the hospital; his wrecked and disintegrating car finally came to a halt next to the "Maternity Hospital Quiet!
Hospital orderlies rushed out with a stretcher and wheeled the unconscious passenger into the delivery room - she recovered consciousness just in time to berate the hospital staff.
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The Great Man staggered at the crash site, musing: "Lucky I didn't have an accident I would have never gotten here" A Night at the Opera regarded by some as the funniest sequence ever filmed -- the famous "stateroom" scene preceded by the 'food-ordering' scene in which a small cruise ship room was crowded with all four Marx Brothers, chambermaids, an engineer, a manicurist, the engineer's assistant, a passenger looking for her Aunt Minnie, and staff stewards - and opera matron Mrs. Claypool's Margaret Dumont opening of the door that spilled all the occupants out onto the floor the preceding egg-ordering scene the classic 'contract-tearing' parody scene of contract negotiations between shady shyster manager Otis P.
Why, you can get a phonograph record of Minnie the Moocher for 75 cents. And for a buck and a quarter, you can get Minnie" and the operatic opening night finale a lavish production number of Il Trovatore with madcap havoc: wild backdrops, backstage and onstage chaos, Harpo swinging Tarzan ape-like on stage fly-ropes in tune to Verdi 's music, and "Take Me Out to the Ballgame" 9 to 5 aka Nine to Five Director Colin Higgins' feminist-leaning workplace farcical comedy was so successful that it was the basis for a short-lived ABC-TV sitcom and a Broadway show of the same name.
The catchy Oscar-nominated title song sung and lyrics waswritten by Dolly Parton during the opening title credits montage of hustle-bustle scenes of getting to work by 9 am - filmed and located in downtown San Francisco: "Tumble out of bed and stumble to the kitchen Pour myself a cup of ambition And yawn and stretch and try to come to life. Goodbye, boss man.
It's quittin' time" - she counted to ten and then began firing as he fled; she pursued him into the women's room where he was hiding in a toilet stall - he became a plaque on the wall Doralee fantasized riding up in a Western scenario "I think I'd like to ride up one day and give him a taste of his own medicine" ; she arrived on a horse to the tune of the "Lone Ranger" theme song ; she pretended that she was his boss and shamed him by objectifying his body and sexually-harrassing him as he often did to her "You're my boy from 9 to You need to be a little more cooperative if you want to keep this job One little kiss?
What's that gonna hurt?
Who's gonna know? You know, something gruesome and horrible and real gory. But kinda cute We're here for work. All of us.
Let's not waste any time. Shall we go? There are going to be fewer but better Russians" the scene of her meeting with dashing Count Leon d'Algout Melvyn Douglas , when all she wanted was assistance in holding her unfolded map of Paris to go to the Eiffel Tower to learn about it from a "technical standpoint"; point-blank, she told him: "I am interested only in the shortest distance between these two points.
Must you flirt? Suppress it! Go to bed, little father. We want to be alone" her response to Leon's request for feedback when he asked: "Ninotchka, you like me just a little bit?
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The whites of your eyes are clear. Your cornea is excellent"; and then her denial of his feelings of love: "Love is a romantic designation for a most ordinary biological - or, shall we say, chemical - process. A lot of nonsense is talked and written about it" Leon's failed attempt to arouse emotion in Ninotchka: "Love isn't so simple, Ninotchka. Ninotchka, why do doves bill and coo? Why do snails, the coldest of all creatures, circle interminably around each other? Why do moths fly hundreds of miles to find their mates?
Why do flowers slowly open their petals? Oh, Ninotchka, Ninotchka, surely you feel some slight symptom of the divine passion? A general warmth in the palms of your hands, a strange heaviness in your limbs, a burning of the lips that isn't thirst but something a thousand times more tantalizing, more exalting, than thirst" - and her cold reply: "You are very talkative" the celebrated cafe scene of Count Leon attempting to melt her icy, stony-faced, humorless, impassive exterior and have her "laugh from the heart" by telling her dumb jokes and stories in a restaurant; when that utterly failed and she remained unamused and stone-faced without any reaction, he leaned backward on the shaky table behind him and accidentally toppled over in his chair, causing everything to crash to the floor.
He finally succeeded in making her laugh uproariously and uncontrollably. She howled, threw her head back, and collapsed across the table, pounding it with her hand. Leon slowly got up from the floor, recomposed himself, and sat next to her. And then he recovered and broke down into howling laughter with her.
And where Truth, crushed to earth, rises again more phony than a glass eye Oliver, so help me. I'll be in Vermont by morning. I'll dig you up a story that'll make this town swoon If I don't come back with the biggest story you ever handled, you can put me back in short pants and make me marble editor" arriving in Vermont, Cook was regarded skeptically by the small-town folk as a scandalmonger; in the office of incompetent and bumbling Dr.
Enoch Downer Charles Winninger , Cook's profession was criticized: "I'll tell you briefly what I think of newspapermen. The hand of God reaching down into the mire couldn't elevate one of them to the depths of degradation. Not by a million miles"; Cook's requests to see the terminally-ill Hazel Flagg, diagnosed by Dr.
Downer as having only six weeks to live, were deflected after the appearance of watch factory worker Hazel Flagg Carole Lombard , Dr. Downer informed her that she had been re-diagnosed as healthy: "Well, you can stop giving yourself the airs of a dying swan. According to this last analysis I made, you ain't going to die You're fitter than a fiddle!
We'll take you everywhere. You'll have more fun than if you lived a hundred years in this moth-eaten yep-and-nope village You'll be a sensation. The whole town will take you to its heart. You'll have everything you've ever dreamed of.
You'll have it on a silver platter. You'll be like Aladdin with the magic lamp to rub" ; as they flew to New York with Dr. Downer, Cook exclaimed as they approached NY: "Well, there she is, in all her beads and ribbons"; he promised: "New York is going to lay its heart at your feet while the whistles blow and the bands play and the cameras grind"; Hazel became a national hero with a ticker-tape parade and presentation of the key to the city so the small-town rube could enjoy a taste of life before succumbing; she was given gowns, banquets, theatre tickets, homage poems, and more Hazel Invited to NY by Cook Hazel's Welcome Sign in Technicolor NYC Aerial Shot "Belle of New York" at a nightclub, the floorshow "The Heroines of History" included women onstage on horseback Lady Godiva, Pocahontas, etc.
I humbly invite her now to take her place beside all the great Heroines of History" ; with the effects of excessive alcohol, she fainted on-stage - garnering even more sympathy the next morning in bed, the hung-over Hazel began to feel anxious pangs of conscience about her phony and feigned illness; she worried about what would happen when she was found out: "I've got a conscience I'm ruining him" ; and then she discovered that Cook was planning to make elaborate funeral arrangements for her death with NY's governor: "There'll be about 30, automobiles and a considerable group on foot.
About half a million, I think I'm getting the governor to declare a public holiday for the, uh, occasion" ; and then she also learned that Dr. Emil Egelhofer Sig Rumann , a radium poisoning specialist, was going to examine her - she told Dr. Downer: "I've got to commit suicide in advance before that scientist gets to me. I-I've got to be drowned" - she planned on writing a suicide thank you note to the city and then disappearing and hiding out forever "I'll change my name and hide away for the rest of my life and never, never see him again" still in bed, Hazel listened to a member elementary school glee club singing a dedicated song to her: "We're sorry you're dying, Hazel" - during the song, she was crawled over by a freckle-faced kid's pet squirrel Hazel's suicide note was discovered by her empty bed: "Dear New York City, Goodbye.
Remember me as someone you made very happy. I have enjoyed everything. There's only one thing left to enjoy. Your river - that smiled outside of my window. It is easy to die when the heart is full of gratitude.
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Hazel Flagg"; she was prevented from drowning herself at the pier by Cook who was actually rescued by Hazel because he couldn't swim , who then proposed marriage to her the arrival of Dr. Egelhofer and his three European colleagues to examine Hazel; after her X-rays proved that she was not ill, Morning Star editor Oliver Stone was notified of the new diagnosis: "There is no vestige, no trace, no single symptom of radium poisoning in this young woman, Mr. Stone" ; the doctors were paid to keep quiet, and then Stone chastised his star reporter Cook for promoting a hoax: "I am sitting here, Mr.
Cook, toying with the idea of removing your heart - and stuffing it like an olive!
Jane and the Opera Dancer
You ruined the Morning Star. You blackened forever the fair name of journalism. You and that foul botch of nature, Hazel Flagg!
The biggest fake of the century. A lying, faking witch with the soul of an eel and the brain of a tarantula! We gave 'em a chance to pretend that their phony hearts were dripping with the milk of human kindness," and he blamed Stone for the publicity stunt: "You used her like you've used every broken heart that's fallen into your knap-sack. To inflame the daffy public and help sell your papers" Dr. I was never gonna die.